Let me tell you about something…..? For 1.8 million years, there has been a Snow Factory concealed within a hidden location in Oxford - As human beings became more inquisitive, recently, they hid the Factory within a prison and then within a crap chain restaurant complex, just so nobody would enquire within, once humans get involved with stuff like Snow Production, they just tend to cause troubles.
What the elves do, in order to make the snow, is they Frack the sparkle out of Moonlight…. and insert it to Snow. Without the sparkle, without snow, there's just no Christmas, which is pretty tragic, but what's more, when Elves are out of work, they become mischievous - And, there's nothing worse than a mischievous Elf.
So, we're having a 5 minute long documentary every hour, followed by 5 minutes of real snowfall. It's going to knock spots off the rest of Britain's Christmas offering, I've got to tell you, so we'll hope to see you there. You can even get some Sausages on Sticks, Marshmallows, Mulled wine or a fancy snow globe.
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